During the first semester of college I learned a lot about other people. The initial culture shock of moving to a new state caused me to spend more time observing, realizing truly how many other diverse background individuals come from, and reevaluating my preconceived notions about…well,  just about everything I thought I knew for sure. 

Second semester was different. I found myself with so many new ideas and values, curious about what else is out there. Going to college opened a door for me that I had no idea it would. I have this newfound thirst for knowledge and desire to experience everything. Which is great and all, but alongside my broadened horizons, came the feeling that I was riding on the verge of an identity crisis.

My new perspectives led me to a sense of not knowing who I was anymore. I didn’t know what direction I wanted to move forward in, who I wanted to associate with, or what exactly it was that I should prioritize anymore. I kissed my high-school-self goodbye, but found myself stuck in this anxiety-ridden in-between, not knowing who exactly it was that I was becoming. 

And that feeling is what led me to my epiphany: it doesn’t freaking matter. I didn’t need to know. Because the truth is, I couldn’t. 

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I used to believe at some point as I got older, everything would just click. I’d have all the answers, this moment of clarity. And all of my why’s, how’s, and what-if’s would dissipate. However, my so-called moment of clarity came in the form of acceptance of the unknown. There are no certainties, there are no right answers, and therefore life is your canvas. 

We expect a set of instructions or rules. That’s what we’ve done our whole lives. Following orders, taking what we’re told as fact, not stepping out of line. But there comes a point where you have to step up and decide for yourself. 

But this deciding, that’s not permanent either. Life is a cycle of continual growth until our final breath. No one truly knows the answers. Think about how many belief systems people follow, all of the different lifestyles. It’s all cultural. There’s no right way to do it. So don’t fret the mistakes. Keep moving. Embrace it. Who’s to tell you you’re on the wrong path? There’s always going to be those who doubt, those who disagree, those who will put you down. But when it comes to your own life, the only valid opinions should be your own.

Hence, my belief in yet another cliche, life is what you make it. It’s up to us to see the beauty in life, to step out of our comfort zones, to squeeze every bit of value out of every opportunity, and to have an unwavering faith in our own abilities. You will face crossroads, put it’s how you march through them. It is your job to respect yourself first. Let go of your fears for they are not tangible, and let the world in. Let it fill you and let it inspire you. Force yourself to grow. Force yourself through change. Accept others. See the beauty. Because it’s out there waiting for you.

In conclusion, I just want to stress that wherever you may be, you are enough. We all struggle, and lose ourselves at times, and that’s okay. It’s more than okay to not be okay. But that is when you must put yourself first. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. How are you feeling? What makes you happy? Add an extra dose of those things to your life. Prioritize yourself and your goals, and whatever it is that makes you feel whole. Forget other’s opinions, the norms, what you grew up being told, and decide it for yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to find out who you really are. Have no regrets. Experience all that you can. We only get one chance at this life, so we better not let a damn second go to waste, worrying about the speculations of others. And when you take that next step forward into the blind unknown, I hope you don’t look back, I hope you don’t hesitate, I hope you welcome that fear, that doubt, that anxiety—embrace it. Let it fuel you. You are unique…unstoppable…iconic even, and you don’t need validation, because you are here, you are moving forward, and that is enough.

Emma Charles