Dear Grandma,

It has felt like I haven’t seen you forever. Even though it has been a while, there is no day that I don’t think about you. 

I know you are in a place full of love and joy. A place that is full of harmony and all the cookbooks in existence. A part of me still wishes you were by my side because I can’t help but miss you.

Sometimes I feel angry and cheated. Sometimes I can admit that everything is different now, and sometimes I am utterly heartbroken. I was not ready to say goodbye that night, and I still don’t want to. 

I think of the love you gave to our family, full of eight grandchildren and your four children. I think of the days we spent in the car singing to Lady Antebellum and the kind heart you had. 

It’s hard to forget someone who gave me so much to remember. You gave me beautiful memories of summers on the porch in Ocean City and laughter with our family. You gave me inside jokes to laugh about, even when you weren’t around. You gave me the most incredible gifts you had to offer — wisdom, love, time, and understanding. 

It’s hard because there is so much we never got to do. I never got to ask you why you loved moonlight lilies or the song “I Need You Now.”   Although I will never know those reasons, every time I hear that song, I think of you. I never got to tell you all the stories about my adventures in Costa Rica or the Dominican Republic. We never got to every detail of your most treasured memory or relationships that have broken my heart. Most importantly, my biggest regret, I never got one more opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me.

I am sorry for the time I said I couldn’t visit or didn’t want to talk about certain things. You would make fun of me for not telling you all of my middle school drama. You and my mom always told me it was pointless to fight over ridiculous things. It turned out that you were both right. I wish I spent more time with you at the house, on the phone, etc. 

I want you to know how grateful I am to have had you as a part of my life. You have inspired me to live my best life and forget about what other people think. You truly helped me to grow and become the person I am today. May you continue to rest in peace, and harmony. I hope you can feel all the love in the world that I have for you. I love you now and will forever. I hope to see your smiling face again one day. 

Sincerely, 

    Molly Corrigan