If I hear another professor email me with the words “in the time of uncertainty” I am going to explode. No shit time of uncertainty. And, while it is a time of uncertainty, it is a very well known fact that things are now serious. Life as we know it has hopefully only temporarily changed. While I do consider myself to be a go-with-the-flow kind of person, I can’t help but feel anxiety towards everything due to the unknown factors of the future. While this reality of staying at home has been going on for weeks now, it still somehow doesn’t feel real.
I haven’t given myself much time to process the entire situation and the gravity of those infected and the death tolls. This is mostly due to my constant need of a distraction and in general I tend to distract myself with social things. Ask me how that’s going for me right now. I’ve FaceTimed more in the past few weeks than I have in my entire life. I’ve cleaned and rearranged my room at least a dozen times. I even voluntarily do my laundry and do the dishes now just to pass time. Among other things, I’ve completely messed up my sleeping schedule, have gone through 2 Netflix shows entirely, and spent most nights laying awake staring at the ceiling wondering when everything will be back to normal.
An untimely wake up call also happened to me during this “uncertain” time. Those “secret” spots I always thought not that many people know about, do know about them. When trying to find things to do, to just get out of the house and get some fresh air, I find myself going to little beach spots I’ve found over the years of living somewhat close to the beach. Apparently everyone’s an adventurer now during quarantine, but I don’t blame them honestly. Being cooped up inside has never been more equivalent to a bird being confined to a cage.
The picture above is actually a picture I took from going to one of my secret beach places about 15 minutes from my house. The small yet quaint little beach has it’s own pier and a small gravel parking lot to accompany it. I had gone a week or two ago with my brother because he was going insane from staying home all the time, which is fair. It was interesting to say the least to see the parking lot that’s always empty full to the point where there almost wasn’t parking. People did social distance at least. It was weird and a tad bit sad to see people out and about enjoying the nice weather. It took an entire pandemic to happen before people went out to have a nice time with their family instead of being inside glued to technology or work.
The worst part about everything is that back when school had gone into spring break, I was freaking out over 700+ cases being in New Jersey, now I don’t even flinch when I see that its now 37,000+. I’ve become desensitized because all that is ever on in my house anymore is the news endlessly droning on about the corona virus. It’s come to the point where I don’t care about my day to day life because there is nothing to look forward to. There’s not foreseeable end to this as the numbers keep going up and up and up. It’s to the point where I don’t care when I go to bed, I don’t care what time I get up, and my days are just blending together. Online school has helped a little in giving me structure my life due to deadlines but that’s not to say that many of my professor’s are taking it easy on me. I feel like I have more work than ever which bothers me to no end.
I have decided that I am not destined for the quarantine life. No matter how much I complained about wanting to stay in bed and watch Netflix or have a lazy day before, I know now that I can only take so much alone time. I miss my roommate and school. I miss seeing my friends all over campus. I miss being alone with my thoughts while walking through the green to get back to my dorm. I am doing my part to flatten the curve by staying home and taking the appropriate precautions. I don’t even see my boyfriend who lives less than a 10 minute drive away (I’m a little grumpy about that, too). I know the importance of what is going on but I just wish things could go back to normal sooner. Hopefully they can if people also take the same necessary precautions.
Katherina Contreras
English 110 Spring 2020 10:10-11:00 
Kat, your writing was easy to follow. I enjoyed reading this! More specifically I appreciated how you brought up the subject that people are going outside with their families and “enjoying the nice weather.” In our generation, we have become so attached to our phones, computers, and televisions. We have lost the ability to have any other social interactions or gatherings. Now we are beginning to appreciate hanging out with family and friends the most. In my town, I have never seen so many people walking their dogs and with their families. Everyone is doing anything they can to be outdoors while also practicing social distancing. A pandemic honestly had to occur to make our generation appreciate quality time with friends and family. I’m interested to see what the use of technology is going to look like after this quarantine.
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This is an extremely relatable piece, Kat. I think back to all the times I wished I could just lay in bed an do nothing, but now that we’ve been stuck in that scenario for 3+ weeks, I would do anything to take it back. I also can’t believe how much school work many professors are piling up on us. Every single person in the world right now is going through a stressful and life changing event, yet I still had to take three exams our first week back to classes which just added on to my stress. I think one of the worst parts of being home is how I can’t go see my boyfriend who lives 10 minutes away either. It’s like the long distance we had in college but only 10 times worse because I am not with my friends in college having a fun time. Hopefully it will all pass soon and we can go back to our normal lives.
Grace Smithmyer
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Kat, I absolutely loved reading this piece. It was so relatable, you basically said everything that I have been feeling and it was pleasure to read. The part of how you barely even flinch at the number of cases now really resonated with me. I remember first hearing of the first case in my county and I was beyond scared and now there is over five thousand but for some reason that has no impact on me. My family also has had the news on 24/7 and I guess like you said it has in a way desensitized me as well.
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Hi Kat, I really liked how you weren’t afraid to write about how crappy you and everyone are all feeling. I think your writing I really relatable because all of us were just getting used to having our freedom, and being able to go and do whatever we want when it was suddenly taken away from us. We went from having all our freedom to none at all. I love that you’re able to find quiet places to relax and get out of your house. I also hope that people take the necessary precautions so that we can get back to our normal life.
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