While I hate to admit this, the point needs to be made: that was one of the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I want to say that this quarter of an hour I was reborn, refreshed, or even ready to unplug my life. Those fifteen minutes showed me how dependent I am to be connected to people. 

My family and friends like to joke and tell me I have a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out); after this experience, I tend to agree. For most of my life, I’ve found myself missing out on important experiences. When I swam competitively, the pool and by default, all my friends on the team were based 30 minutes away from my home: I missed out on bonding activities, play dates and last-minute dinner plans. For most of my childhood, I felt like the outsider of my friend group. Suddenly, all of those feelings have started to flood back. 

My friends here at college live in Harrington B dorms, I, however, live on North Campus in James Smith Hall. In other terms, it’s a 25-minute walk to get to them (Yes, I have started to utilize the bus system on campus, but they can be unpredictable). I spend most of my time down on East campus with them, even when times are inconvenient, but I still find myself missing the late-night discussions or the random trips to the dining hall. I think the hardest part is that we have a group chat; I can see what they’ve planned for a night that I can’t visit on. 

For those fifteen minutes, I couldn’t help but think about what I had missed. I want to stop thinking about what wasn’t but to begin to focus on what is. While I have made this reflection on my mindset, it won’t change over night– I know it won’t, but it’s at least a start.